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Saturday, June 4, 2011

A little late for One word Wed...) The final straw

Erratic - luminous - Omen...

I should have seen it coming.  Knew her behavior for 34 years and after problems, and forgiving, but never forgetting, allowed her back into our lives.

This time, she managed to top herself. I thought she had plunged a dagger into our hearts ten years ago, never thinking we would heal.  We did.  This time, there will be no healing, no forgiveness, no forgetting.

I often said and have heard it said, that you can do anything to me, but don't mess with my kids.  No matter what age my "kids" are, they are still my kids.

My daughter and I planned our first holiday together.  We were and are still going to make it a yearly ritual.  Even after the fiasco of this last one.

A little history.  My Mother in law and father in law own a condo in Florida.  They told us we could go down there anytime we want.  They spend most winters down there and I figured there would be no problem going in April with my daughter.  I called to tell the out-law - in law and asked if it was OK that  my daughter and I  spend two weeks there.  Her first response was.."I'M GOING!"  Oh my God.  I was speechless, I knew  there was no way out, and she is a demanding, spoiled, narcissistic woman who would have her own way.  She knew it was daughter and mother, her intentions were to spoil it.  Nothing more, nothing less.

I should have seen the signs, the OMEN was there.  I felt it in my gut, and was nauseated at the thought of spending two days driving down to Florida and two days back and spending the rest of the time with her.

We wanted to drive our car, it is great on gas.  She refused that idea and told us we would take her van, which would cost me over 100.00 to fill up each time.  We accommodated her.  Took the van.

She has always had ERRATIC behavior.  Demanding and vindictive.  I knew this was going to be tragic.

I told my daughter that we should tell her that there was a change of plans and she had to work.  No, my daughter said  "No, let her come, I don't want her feelings to get hurt."  Ok... it was finalized.  She was going.

For days before leaving, I had a sick feeling in my stomach.  I tried to look happy and excited for my daughter, however the OMEN was there, I could not deny it.

The drive down went with just one incidence, and that was tolerable.  But, once we arrived at the condo, the demon was born and showed to be a force we could not reckon with.

She began to corner my daughter behind my back and say nasty things to her.  I caught her twice and asked her not to do that anymore. She picked on my daughter about what places to eat, we always gave in to her, after all she made it clear it was her van.  So, we were at her mercy in more than one way.

The days flew by and she continued her wrath.  The ERRATIC behavior grew more frequent and more hurtful.

Finally, I had enough.  I told her to stop, to please let it be a nice vacation and let us all enjoy the rest of the time we had.  Well, behind our backs she was calling her husband and telling lies about us.  He told my husband and the war started.

She continued to be nasty with my daughter.  I began to see there was a jealousy there.  My daughter and I have a wonderful relationship .She never had a daughter, though through the years, I took care of them when ill, spent every other Sunday there playing cards and visiting with them.  I tried to be that daughter.

We all fought.  I stood up for my daughter and she didn't like that.  Why would she think she could treat my daughter like shit and I am suppose to stand there and take it?

Two days of hell driving home with her.  She tried to pick fights with my daughter.  Finally her nastiness really showed.  Twice, she told my daughter - "I don't like you"  with a hatred and ugliness in her words and face.

This time, I didn't silence my daughter, she is 25 years old and can stand up for herself.  I crossed my arms in the back seat of the van and let my daughter tell her what she thought after being stuck with her grandmother for two weeks.  My daughter was sobbing, her face red and her breathing Erratic.  She was driving.

I had her pull over and I drove the rest of the way home.  Hours.  I didn't speak to her and listened to the radio, knowing my singing and finger tapping got to her, but at this point it felt good, knowing she was on the side of misery.

 When we pulled up in her driveway, our car was there, I told my daughter to remain quiet and to get our bags and leave without making a sound.  My father in law met us and when his wife got out of the car she yelled loudly enough for all the neighbors to hear  "I AM HOME FROM THE VACATION FROM HELL". Needless to say...  Lost it.  I told my father in law a lot that happened, I told him just like he has to stay by his wife's side, at my daughters side I remain.

I don't stop my husband from visiting his mother, though I do feel some betrayal there.

His mother insists on telling him her side every time he visits.  He knows, my daughter and I don't lie.  He told his mother he stands by our side.

Something came over me in that driveway.  It was LUMINOUS.  The sun was shinning brightly and I felt the warmth of it mixed with the blush of anger on my cheeks.  It was healing to be able to tell her what we thought and felt.  It was renewal.

It has now been two months.  I have had no contact with her.  As far as telling my daughter she didn't like her, she denies all of the things she did and said.

We miss my father in law and love him very much.  I have told him he is welcomed out here any time.

As far as her, the OMENS were always there.  Her nastiness, mean, and vindictive ways, always will be there.

But my daughter and I, will never have to be witness or  take any of her abuse again.

Sad story, but true.


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

My son and I and music

 I know I have been away for awhile.  I hope to be around more often.  Please visit One Stop Poetry!

At the age of five I was told, he was hyperactive.
Medication was what he needed.
Of course, politely, I declined.
To the teachers disappointment.

I don't blame all teachers
in fact, I have respect for what they do.
However, some would rather you medicate
Then channeling the energy of a challenging kid.

Instead, I met with teachers and  principals weekly.
Trying hard to think of someway or somehow to help him
After-all, it was not his fault he had creative energy and-
at the age of five didn't know what to do with it.

Luckily, I had a set of drums in the house and a light bulb went off in my head
I led him to the spare room with the dusty drums, put him on the chair
And wrapped his fingers around the sticks.
I was witness to a miracle.

My son, with all the energy pounded and beat until he was tired
Daily, for hours he drummed.
I found drum teachers and they would teach him and then tell me,
he was just as good as they were and could teach him no more.

He was in band after band, was in love with music, art and the drums.
He taught himself to play guitar, keyboards and even went to a school for the arts.
Would medicating him take him down this creative path?
Because of his energy he was able to sit for hours doing something he fell in love with.

I am the proud mother of a son who has a deep passion for music.
He lives it, breathes it and is totally in love with it.
My son is grown now and if anything has brought us closer
It is music.

I've loved his music, I hated his music, I danced to it and hid from it
Music has made him the man he is today

Don't stifle creativity, let it run rampant, screaming,thundering through your house.
 I am proud of my son and the man he has become.
He can love, laugh, show passion and feel it.
 My son, and I and music - not necessarily in that order


Friday, February 25, 2011

Teetering on the fence of Spring - One Stop Poetry

I sit here wondering when it will come?
Hoping I don't miss the explosion of color,
Once this ice and snow melts
Again, we are wearing Mother Nature White.

Fashionable, perhaps.
Seasonal, perhaps.
Wanted, I speak for myself.  No.
Mother Nature has once again, handed me her hand me down whites.

Blustery, chilly, ice, snow, freezing rain,
Words I have become to hate and shiver as if hypnotized to do so
Where is the sun?  Can't it tease us with a showing?
Of course not with all of this snow blowing.

With  one hand, my coffee  to warm my palm and fingers,
I type words that soon will be gone from everyone's vocabulary
Hopefully I will feel the sun's loving rays
and soon feel like I have been reborn


Thursday, January 20, 2011

"O" is for "Olden Days - Alphabet Thursday

Olden Days

You know you are really getting old when the kids say "Mom, back in the "olden days " did you have cars? TV's and a host of other things they want to know.

One year my son, who was five then and in school, told the teacher that his mom rode a horse and buggy to school and to work.  UGH!!!!!!!!!!  What the heck was that all about??

When he told me this I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Yes children we had TV's too.  We had the first color TV on the block.  We put a film over the screen and it tinted the picture green and red.  WOW... we thought we had it all then.

In the "olden days"  we didn't have video games.  We actually went outside and played, kick the can, red rover, red rover, hop scotch, jumped rope, even double dutch.  Uhm..  "What"? "how?"  I would get questions like that.  They were dumbfounded on how to play any games.  So from that point on, I started to teach them how to PLAY!

Hide and Seek, kick the can and others were a nightly ritual.  I taught them games I learned in the "olden days"

Think about it, how far have we come from our "olden days"  Would you leave this time era to go back?  Doubtful.  The only thing we have lost is innocence.  Now, a five year old could probably teach me a few things.  I wonder, what the "olden days" will be for them, when they are my age?


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Sunday's Best Tradition - Written for Magpie Tales

No matter what the weather, going to church in Sunday's best was a happy day
Seeing old friends, greeting new one's, and always dressed in Sunday's Clothes.
What traditions are elders had!  How it seems we have destroyed them.
Church was a special thing to do on Sunday, and respected.
Today, I see people in shorts and sandals and no children with them.
The faces in church are weathered and old, where are the young people?
What will happen to our traditional Sundays?
No more going to Church, No buying new Sunday clothes,
No visiting aunts and uncles and parents and grandparents after Church.
How many more traditions can we kill before our kids ask "Why don't we?"
Too busy for church, too busy for relatives,  and it takes too much time to keep traditions.
Are we leaving a piece of our ancestors with our children?
Let's not forget the people who believed in family and God, they gave us something that can not be bought or replaced.  Traditions


This too Shall Pass! - Jingle Poetry Pot Luck Monday

It's the New Year with new things to do
Haven't written anything lately because -
Believe it or not, I am too busy

Have started so many projects for myself
That I can barely keep up with them
Painted the bathroom and fixed it up cute
Only to hear "you have dripped paint on the floor"

I could care less about the droplets. I covered them with a rug
At least until I find some product in the store to take it out.
Another, project.  UGH!

Now, I have started to remove a border in my kitchen
Bought all kinds of wallpaper remover, none and I mean none

Trying a good old home remedy - fabric softener and hot water.
Hopefully this will work, or I will be in the kitchen for weeks
Without cooking!

I am sorry I started it, but have to follow through
The border removal is hard work, I already hate the sight of the scraper
The rest of the house is a mess
And on top of all of this-  I got a new puppy!  Am I absolutely out of my mind????

I must be going through something in my brain - up one day - down the next-
And not only is my brain cluttered and over worked
But so is my body and the house looks like a tornado hit it

Oh I guess I have to keep saying what my mother would say to me
"This too shall pass"
Yes, of course it will pass but what is next?
Another - "this too shall pass"

Well I have to go, my house smells like fabric softener and the walls have running drips down them
Sorry I started but I will be happy when it is all done.
I miss my special time writing and hope I can find time to do some in the mornings.
Until then -  "this too shall pass"!


Thursday, January 6, 2011

Mark Twain - Posted for Alphabet Thursday M- Mark

It is with sadness that I write this,

so many emotions and, disbelief the main one

How can people justify editing classic literary works?

Where does this begin and end?

What group thinks this is OK to do?

This is not a poem, but a stand against this blasphemy.

Who will be next?  Yours?


Monday, January 3, 2011


Shadowed by thick clouds
Sun beams try and warm the earth
Winter has its grip